huiyu’s soul isnt functioning today.
she just cant seem to settle down to do anything today. at work, during tuition and at home.
her mood is foul even though she was determined once she woke up this morning, promising herself to stay positive and not let things affect her.
however, she failed, her determination didnt work. things just happened in a bad way.
things didn’t change, things done cant be undone.
she just feel like screaming at everyone who stood in her way, her superviser can see that her face is super black cos she didnt make any effort to smile at anyone. despite of all these, she still wanted to stay positive and encouraging in front of him. she was much awaiting for lunchtime to make that phonecall which he wanted her to make to wake him up. however, all she got was cold replies over at the other end of the line. after he woke up, he didnt even want to reply her previous msg. she felt dejected.
holding onto a strong front, she continued to send msg to encourage and offered to help and to be there for him. all she got back were rejections after rejections, negativity after negativity which didnt help in pulling her out of her negative thinking. she felt so hurt, lost, unfocused at work. just cant settle down, very messy thoughts.
she tried again and again to take steps forward to turn things ard and to cover up for her lack of effort ytd, but everytime she takes a step forward, he took 2 steps backwards. she felt so rejected and heart-broken.
during tuition, her students were super quiet, given her black face. she can controlled herself, she wish she could. exchange of sms between him and her made her cried in front of the class. she felt so defeated. nothing she said in her sms went into his mind, his stubborn mind. she felt she can no longer influence him like before. she felt all her efforts to reconcile were all futile and it’s even making him moving further and further.
he doesnt want to talk to her anymore. the way he replies seemed so foreign. her heart aches as she reads the words
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the world still keeps spinning….. nothing had stopped for her but she cant function properly anymore.
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